Caregiving and the Financial Life Around It

By Nathan Mersereau

Many caregiving journeys don’t start with a plan; they start in the middle of an ordinary day, with no time to prepare for what comes next.

It usually begins with a surprise phone call, a diagnosis, a fall in the kitchen at 2 p.m. that completely changes what the next few years look like. A spouse’s health takes a turn virtually overnight, one or both parents need far more help than anyone expected, a child faces a serious illness or a lifelong disability, and you step in without much discussion because you’re the one who can. For many families, and often for the women in them, that instinct to step in collides with highly successful careers or demanding businesses that don’t easily pause for a crisis.

What follows is often months or years of holding two lives together at once: your own and the person (or people) you are caring for. According to AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving’s “Caregiving in the US” report, family caregivers spend an average of 27 hours per week providing care, a workload that often rivals part-time employment. While it is one of the most meaningful roles a person can tackle, it can also be one of the most demanding and expensive, in ways that might not show up until later.

The Hidden Costs of Caregiving

Some caregiving costs are easy to see coming: medical bills, home modifications, in-home aides, medications, transportation, the occasional emergency. Those add up fast, and most families brace for them.

The expenses that typically catch people off guard are the indirect ones. For example, a caregiver cuts back their working hours or leaves a job entirely, often during peak earning years. That decision can then ripple outward: lower Social Security benefits down the road, retirement contributions that stop growing, a gap in employer-provided health coverage. Even a brief pause can compound rather than smooth out over time.

Then there are the costs that you truly cannot put a number on. A mind and body that’s constantly tired. Key relationships that only get the leftover attention. A longtime goal, maybe retiring at 60 or taking that trip to Australia, gets pushed out to “maybe someday.” These are the realities a truly comprehensive financial plan should account for.

Planning for the Care Recipient and the Caregiver

Choosing to show up for someone you love already says something about what matters to you. That choice is worth honoring, not working around. Protecting your own financial future while you provide that care isn’t in tension with it because it’s actually part of the same decision.

This is something we come back to often with clients in a caregiving role: your financial security matters just as much as the care you’re providing. Supporting a loved one doesn’t need to mean that you permanently sacrifice your financial objectives or retirement goals.

Getting there starts with sensitive questions that many families put off. Who manages what? What resources exist? What trade-offs can everyone involved live with? Those conversations are far easier to have before a crisis hits, not in the middle of the storm.

A few areas, in particular, are worth reviewing early: whether long-term care insurance is in place (and what it actually covers), powers of attorney and healthcare directives, how caregiving duties and costs get divided among siblings, whether a family trust, business succession plan, or other estate structure needs to account for a special needs child or aging parents, and what the plan looks like once professional care becomes necessary. While these topics are not pleasant or easy to think through in advance, all of them are far harder to sort out in the middle of a family health emergency.

Your Life Is Part of the Plan

Self-care can feel indulgent when someone you love needs you. But rest-assured, it’s essential. Caregiver burnout is a real, well-documented phenomenon, and it can carry a hefty financial weight of its own: reduced capacity to work, stress-induced health problems that generate their own bills, decisions made under exhaustion that wouldn’t otherwise get made.

But the cost of losing yourself in a caregiving season isn’t only financial. It’s easy to spend months, even years, so focused on someone else’s needs that you lose track of your own sense of purpose, the things you were working toward before this season began. Protecting that matters too.

Building in respite care, outside support, and an honest sense of what you can sustain over the long haul shouldn’t be viewed as optional. We believe that it’s part of the plan, the same as any other line item.

If caregiving and all the financial implications surrounding it is a topic concerning you, please reach out and let’s talk.

References

• Caregiving in the US Report 2025 (AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving)

The material provided is for informational purposes only and is not meant to be construed as investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell securities.  Planning Alternatives is an investment advisory firm registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission (“SEC”).  SEC registration does not imply a certain level of skill and or expertise.

If you’re approaching retirement and want to think through both the financial plan and the life it's meant to support, we'd welcome the conversation. Reach out to schedule a conversation with our team.